Saturday, December 20, 2008

Adelle Shayna

I have totally been ignoring my blog since my last post in March. I was inspired to write again after reading another blog Introducing Yael. Yael is my neighborhood Mikvah Lady. Her family experienced the unspeakable tragedy of losing a child. What I am awed by is her unbelievable strength and her unshaken faith in G-d. 

I first met Yael when I returned to the Mikvah after a 2 year and 8 months absence ( I have been breastfeeding my now 3 year old and did not get my period for almost 3 years). She was pregnant at the time with her baby girl Adelle Shayna. We spoke briefly about her being pregnant and I found out that she was into attachment parenting like I am.  I can't say that I know her well but I felt that AP mother bond with her. After her baby was born I always asked how she and her brother were doing because I knew what she was experiencing as a breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing mother. I understood the kind of bond she had with her children. 

I mentioned this bond when I was with some friends after I found out what had happened and I got the sense that this was the kind of thing that could get people upset. It sounds like you are saying that one who does not practice AP does not love their children as much as one who does. That's not what I meant at all.  I did not know about attachment parenting when I had my first child. We did things very conventionally. Luckily I slowly began to learn about attachment parenting. I vowed that when I had my next baby that we would do things differently from the beginning. I want to make clear that I do not love my son any less than I love my 3 daughter who were attachment parented from day 1, but my bond with my girls when they were babies was stronger and deeper. (I know that my bond strengthened with Zev the more that we changed our parenting technique).

So I know the kind of bond that Yael had with her baby and the kind of bond that Adelle Shayna had had with her mother. Yael has written about how blessed she feels that she was to have Adelle Shayna for 4 months but really they were both blessed. 

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